She had this picture of him with her all the time. She did though only get her peace and quiet when she promised herself to never, ever look at his profile again – to never look at his life, turning, going, wandering… she stopped when he got engaged with her. That`s when she made the promise – for real this time. She knew that a turn-around would destroy her and all her life with it. That she never could be free from him. The only thing she needed to do now, was to be oh so ashamed of her body, her own wandering of life – just in case he got a glimpse of her on the street once, without her conscious wish or of her trying to make it that way.